April 2009
1 post
March 2009
2 posts
Lata LiLo
I’m sorry Lindsey Lohan, but you just aren’t getting your shit together. I always thought that one day you would drop the whole lezbo act and go back to duderino’s, but It just isn’t manifesting the way I would like. My new hollywood crush you ask? Kristen *didn’t really like twilight* Stewart. I mean I know I’m going to flaunty red head to passive brunette...
To Twit or to Tumble.
Twitting is fun, but tumblr lets me illustrate more of what I’m actually thinking. So what am I thinking? How about a wet nap dispenser next to the toilet so when you go #2 you don’t have to wait until you pull your pants and get to the sink to wash your hands. Patent pending…
February 2009
1 post
Back in Business
Well ladies and gentleman, after a long period of no blogs I am back. Better then ever you ask? No. Just back. What Have I been doing with my self this whole time? Maybe I learned a second language. Maybe I traveled to Guam. Maybe I climbed Mt. Fiji. Those would all be great excuses as to why I haven’t written anything in a while but the truth is that I am a superhero.
With all the...
January 2009
3 posts
wat teh hel?
me: everyone's tumbler posts makes it look like they're all having more fun than me...whats up with that mr. computer?
macbook: 101001110011001100 (i dunno man, are you really that worried about it?)
me: i guess not, its just that i dont wanna miss out on the totally awesome parties theyre prolly havin
macbook: 1001000101000011111101 (well since you suck at life youre prolly better off watching movies on 66stage.com)
me: yeah, i figured
2 MONTHS LATER :
me(alex) : So I'm finally starting to have some fun on my tumblr posts.
macbook : 110101000101000101110 ( I never doubted your ability to let loose.)
me(alex) : Yea well, life is too short to be so serious all the time.
macbook : 10011100101001010101000111011001101011100 (I couldn't agree with you more. Now, you wanna do that thing we always do Sunday nigts??)
me(alex) : Of course, but this time be more gentle. I'm having a hard time explaining the marks.
macbook : 10001011010 (Shut-up whore.)
2009 Resolutions
Now that it’s 2009 and we are officially in the future, it’s time to reflect and make changes to yourself for the better. With the new year comes a clean slate, a chance to make improvments on all the experiences of past years. I’d like to share those resolutions with you.
I’d like to start participating in one of the top two eating disorders. Anorexia takes a lot of...
December 2008
2 posts
The Perfect Woman
All her friends are MY friends
When I am not with her, she is living in a closet like Vicki from Small Wonder
Makes my sandwiches on ROLLS not SLICED BREAD.
Her junk doesn’t smell
She never answers my questions with questions……”what do you think that means??” I hate that shit.
Instead of sleeping she is awake thinking of other ways to please me.
...
Toms viewpoint on leather jackets
Leather jackets…..how cool are they? If someone were to ask me that question I would reply back to them that 80% of the coolness of a leather jacket depends on the person who is wearing it. The other 20% depends on color, thickness, etc.
If you are a greasy haired, no undershirt wearing, piece of euro-trash, and you are wearing a black leather jacket….you should be put in a cage. If...
November 2008
2 posts
Me Chinese, Me play joke, Me put pee pee in your...
A couple terms for anyone planning to visit the far east soon.
1) That’s not right - Sum Ting Wong 2) Are you harboring a fugitive? - Hu Yu Hai Ding 3) See me ASAP - Kum Hia Nao 4) Stupid Man - Dum Fuk 5) Small Horse - Tai Ni Po Ni 6) Did you go to the beach? - Wai Yu So Tan 7) I bumped into a coffee table - Ai Bang Mai Fa Kin Ni 8) I think you need a face lift - Chin Tu Fat 9) It’s...
Urinating in the darkness
This is a post mainly towards my male readers. All three of you. Isn’t it the worst when you get up in the middle of the night to relieve yourself and you get to the bathroom and for some reason or another, you don’t turn on the light. Maybe you don’t want your eyes to get adjusted to light right before you go back to bed, or maybe the light is out. So there you are, standing...
October 2008
4 posts
NaCl versus NaOCl
Yes I am salty, who wouldn’t be after an encounter such as the one previously talked about. Although I wouldn’t have anyone with bleached hair change it back because now it will be easier for me to find you on top of the clock tower with my gun.
Yes, even you A.J! I am not a spaz. Once you pounded my fist you should have realized who I was. I’m sorry, this is my rage...
Some say my last tumblr was too long…..
bite me.
Maury deserves what he got.
September 2008
4 posts
